So This Is What It Feels Like

Anger.

Slice.

Wait.

Bleed.

I'm a fucking coward. Next time will be deeper.

The sickest thing?

I’m fucking proud of myself for finally doing it. I’ve never felt such strong an urge as I did tonight.

Tonight, I am fucking angry.

I know it’s bad. I know.

But fucking hell I’m trapped.

Can’t fucking die. So fucking mad at myself.

Fucked as shit.

Thought I was strong enough to withstand this. I guess not.

I fucking deserve this.

Either

If I overdosed on anti-depressants, will I die or will I be a ton happier.

Either way, I don’t mind.

Another

Wednesday 29th November 1:50am.

Another sudden attack.

Another lonely night.

Another break down.

Another 'I miss you'.

Defending You

"You like defending her don't you?"

"... I know..."

"You see what you're doing? I'm not even saying anything that's against her."

"... I know..."

"..."

"... I - I can't help it."

I Think I Always Will

"Do you still love her?"

"..."

"I feel like that's a yes."

"I think I always will."











Oh Chloe, I think I always will.

A Year Ago

Today.

A year ago today, you asked me.

A year.

It’s been a year. It could’ve been our year.

I’m not bitter, really not. Just stating a fact. This is bizarre. It’s all gone by so quickly, yet it still feels like it all happened only just a few weeks/ months ago.

Time, how do you work.

Time, are you really a thief?

Time, you are a terribly slow healer.

Better Off

Sigh. Sometimes I really think I’m better off being alone. Of course it would be lovely to have someone there by my side but honestly? I really think it isn’t written in my story.

Especially now that I’m even more guarded and closed off.

People... they’re so hard to trust. They break your heart and leave their stains for you to remember.

Someone prove me wrong.